12 Sep Parenting superpower
Posted at 08:42h
in Career Conversations, EQ skills, GenZ, GenZ Parent, Newsletter, Parent2Parent, TILT the Future - Podcast episode
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Remember when you were young, and just dying for a superpower?
To be a wizard. Or superman.
Did you wear a cape and run around the house pointing a ‘wand’ at the dog to turn her into a unicorn?
Or maybe you wished you could turn invisible instead of beetroot red when that right person walked by you in class!
I need me some superpowers
Then you grew up. And became a Mom.
And the superpower you wanted most, is the “Fairy” in Fairy liquid to just appear and do the dishes already! Maybe fold the clothes while she is at it.
And suddenly your kids are growing up. And you realize that the dishes were the easiest part of raising a family.
Somehow you are doing this parenting thing.
Not perfectly. But every day.
Searching for those superpowers
But like any superhero, you continue to search for and test your superpowers. With your trusty sidekick you keep testing each possible parameter:
– Can I fly? Ooops. No. Move faster to catch a falling sippy cup, maybe. But fly? No.
– Can I turn invisible? Unfortunately, not even the bathroom door can make that happen!
– Oh! Can I turn vegetables invisible? Sometimes! If I cut them real fine and hide them in the meat sauce!
– I told my kids I had eyes in the back of my head when they were acting up in the back of the car. Does that count?
Let me be clear. I do not happen to be SuperMom!
I clearly missed out on the superpowers of being able to keep the tidiest home, meal prep for a week with delicious recipes, or sign my kids up for summer camp in the cold month of January.
Yet day after day, year after year, like me, we keep at it.
Trying to figure out your superpower.
Sometimes, you are able to kiss a booboo better. But what you want most is to protect them, and for them to be happy.
But sometimes, not even the most ardent prayer and love can’t prevent broken hearts, broken bones and stitches.
Getting greens in them moves into trying to get them to do their homework, and encouraging them to turn off their online games so they can get fresh air. Hoping they will surround themselves with friends who see the best in them yet encourage them to strive to do better still – together.
Can your powers grow as they grow?
Trying to protect them changes in scope too.
You know what they say:
Little people, little problems.Bigger kids, bigger problems.
Will they mature into adults who will find meaning in their lives, their ambitions and the mark they set upon the world?
How do I help them target what to do next?
Will they be happy?
Will they and can they save the world and solve it’s problems?
Shazam! Superpowers revealed
I have figured out that one of my superpowers is a cape of love. A love that miraculously explodes to cover each member of the family – no matter how many appear. I am told that will again expand to include all the partners and grandchildren who will show up later in this journey.
Another is faith. Faith and trust that this kid will be ok.
OK, this faith( like Spiderman’s web) does fail occasionally, but it is quite entrenched.
By sheer will, we set an example, open doors, make suggestions. We jump through hoops, negotiate with God if we have to. We pray that whatever comes to this child of ours let it be a burden they can carry or a blessing they will rejoice in.
But this superpower is not enough.
It is not enough to right all the wrongs, nor to smooth the path ahead of them.
It will not give them clarity on what to do.
It will not protect them in bubble-wrap from the world.
But maybe that is the point.
Maybe my parental superpower has been to prepare them to the best of my ability and give them the confidence to go out there and try out the wonderful world outside. And to show them that we don’t always have all the answers, but we keep trying and testing different ideas and options. And something usually comes together.
Invisibility?
So.
Turns out I found one of my superpowers.
Far from being invisible, I’m apparent.
As in .. I’m a parent.
What’s your superpower?
You can listen to this episode here:
Other blog posts in this Superpower series:
- The Force: What is your superpower?
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