18 Aug Clock has run out on our basketball net

We took down our basketball net this week.

“We don’t remember a time without that net” the kids challenged as we enlisted their aid to take down the tall iron giant that has stood guard at the entry of our driveway for .. ever.

They were right. The steady ‘thud thud thud, swish’ had been a persistant soundtrack these past many years, as this gracious hoop played host to sudden neighbourhood pickup games, or a lone kid worked on their jump shot with great dreams of playing for the Raptors.

To everything, there is a season.

But the net has once again frayed. And now the hoop is dangling dangerously – testament to a lifetime of slam dunks, and a gathering amount of rust. The base may not make it through another Canadian winter. With all the kids growing up and out of the house, it is fast becoming more of a hazard than a convenience. The clock has run out, and the hoop has to come down.

As we dismantled it together, we grew nostalgic.

It brought back a lifetime of memories

In those knotted strings lay moments of our lives. Each scuff and dent told its own story of glory or gore.

• opening up the kit on Father’s Day, and screwing the stand together
• dribbly toddlers scampering between their Dad’s feet as he shot some hoops
• learning the art of shooting, layups and dribbling .. and sportsmanship
• the thud, thud, swish of kids letting off steam
• sweaty cousins, challenging each other, cooling off with ice pops
• scuffed knees and bruised elbows, Bandaids and Neosporin
• pickup games between friends and neighbours in the failing light of a summer’s evening
• brothers, jostling each other as they grew in size
• friendship and challenge and just plain growing up in the outdoors

I watched those once tiny kids now take turns to help at the task. Taking that net apart was a full court press – those screws having rusted in place. We shared memories as we said our goodbye.

A new normal

First the mini-van, now the basketball net. We were saying Goodbye to another symbol of their childhood. We are entering a new normal.

That basketball net had been a steady presence. Apart from its value as a neighbourhood sports oasis, it was a comforting, familiar sight as we turned onto our street and into our driveway. It announced “You are home”. Maybe that’s what made it extra hard to part with it.

We cannot hold onto these symbols purely for nostalgia when they stop serving their purpose, and they start posing a risk. But we can hold onto the memories.

Transitions are always uncomfortable

Whether it is just the morning after you return from vacation or a major life change, transitions are uncomfortable. As we head into different phases of our lives, we learn to recognize that stage ‘in-between’ the old and the new.  Starting university or just returning to a new term at a familiar school. A new project at work, or retirement.

Take time to acknowledge the moments of transition.

Focusing on this messy middle stage – recognizing and acknowledging the discomfort you will feel as you adjust to your new normal; realizing that all good transitions take a little TLC and time – all this helps us to make a smoother and realistic adjustment.

We can bring a few of our comforting traditions along with us. But as we progress successfully to a new stage in life, business or relationships we naturally will give up some of the old familiars. New routines will replace the old.

This is normal. Just as this new phase without our basketball net will soon become our new normal.

Make. Take. Talk.

Make some time to enjoy traditions that bring you comfort – walks in the park; family vacations; cooking; a familiar pillow case or mug.
Take the time to make new traditions for your stage in life – a new board game; a family outing to a ball game; Saturday pancake brunch with friends.
Talk about the memories and the values they have added to your life.

These simple actions will help as you reposition and embrace the new phase of life ahead of you.

• Ode to our trusty rusty basketball net that stood guard over our home and opened its arms to players of all skill and size
• TILT the Future – my new podcast discusses how little ideas, small shifts and minute moments can result in monumental changes in our lives https://karenadesouza.com/blog/
• Find a version of this thought for today article on LinkedIn and Instagram
• Audio, photo & video credits:  creator Karena de Souza
  • Photo by Fabio Jock on Unsplash
  • Photo by Simon Bowles on Unsplash