18 Dec Transitions
A year ago I kissed my father at the door and took his blessing. While my plane crossed the Atlantic, he crossed from this world to the next.
Transitions
You may have noticed that I have written much about transitions and change this year. It is a subject that I thought I understood. I had made it a core theme of my work for the past many years. While my musing are intended for an audience of young adults just starting out in life, they have also been deeply personal.
Because, we are never too young or too old to experience transition and change.
Just this year:
- I have witnessed change as a child – losing a parent.
- I have witnessed transition as a parent – with all my children maturing and leaving home.
- I have changed as a business – rebranding and adjusting my brand and business model
- I discovered that we are not always allowed the space and time to deal with one change before another one comes our way #transition
Crossing the divide
In each event, I have become conscious of the delta between platitudes and the strength it takes to actually cross that divide into our new tomorrow.
I have learned humility.
I have learned how vast is the step between old and new in some situations, and how easy in others.
I have learned not to judge; but to seek, to ask, to listen, to support.
Adjusting
As I made my transitions, I had the tremendous support of family and friends.
Within my circle, I have watched a mother visited by the most incredible loss of a child – not just once but twice in the same year.
I wondered how she would come to terms. Instead, I learned how they adjust to a new normal – because such deep loss never leaves us, but we discover a way to live with it.
I learned from colleagues who saw tremendous opportunities slip from within their grasp. Yet find within themselves the courage to stand up again, revaluate, challenging themselves to stretch out their hand, seeking the next – even if it meant another possible rejection. Because they believe their compass is set in the direction of making a difference and what they have to adjust is the route to get there.
I have had the support of parents within my circle who showed me the way to maintain the core of a family while the parts are flying off in different directions.
I have learned that there is a huge difference between words and action. From others. Within ourselves. I can tell myself to adjust and I understand the logic.
But the actual change has to be emotionally understood and come from within.
In some cases that is immediate.
In others, it can be a much longer and tougher journey.
In those instances, having the support, mentorship and trust from a community have been invaluable.
Discovering the ‘net’ within your network
So often, we think of ‘network’ and our minds rush to uncomfortable and inconvenient meetings that involve shaking hands and trading business cards.
But a ‘network’ is so much more.
It is a ‘net’ there to support and catch us.
I hoped for and received the support of my immediate family as we grieved our loss.
The support I received from my business network, in person and tangentially, surprised me.
A chance phrase in a post on LinkedIn sometimes speaks louder to me than the core message that the author was intending to convey – as if serendipity positioned it there specifically to support my soul’s particular need that day.
I learned that human beings are our network.
People. People who have experience with their own transitions.
Who – if they cannot offer you particular advice for your situation – can offer you a shoulder and quiet space while you discover your new way, your new normal.
I am not alone.
Thank you for the strength you have given me through your support.
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