25 Nov Mrs. Keisman’s vermouth turkey

Amuse bouche (the shorter read):

Mrs. Keisman offered me so much more than her delicious vermouth turkey. She invited me – an expat – into her home and allowed me to participate in that most quintessential North American experience: Thanksgiving.

The main course (the longer read):

There it stood on the table. A masterpiece. Mrs. Keisman’s vermouth turkey is one of the distinct memories of my first Thanksgiving experience in 1990. The woozy aroma wafted over a table that was already laden with a variety of traditional vegetables and sides. When you bit into it, the turkey was cooked to perfection – moist and juicy, with a dribble of delicious sauce. And the stuffing was a hedonistic experience.

I was grateful that she’d included me in the gathering around her table. Her daughter-in-law, Maritza, who worked with me at Morgan Stanley had extended the invitation to join their table. As a visitor to her country, Mrs. Keisman had no obligation to open her doors to me. But she welcomed me in. Alongside all her children, grandchildren, brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts and friends, we would feast in her bright sunny apartment on the Upper West Side.

With this simple act of generosity, Mrs. Keisman embodied the spirit of Thanksgiving. I was a visitor to these shores. She brought me into her community. Her family shared their table and abundance with me. This is where I tasted my first pecan pie (not a fan), discovered cranberry sauce, and butternut squash soup (yum, fan for life!).

The Keisman clan did more. They parcelled out the local knowledge you only get from having lived in New York City for three generations and counting: the upcoming exhibitions, a new restaurant that had opened, the street markets in Manhattan where you could shop for other people’s junk (or as I called them, antiques). They clued me in. They made me feel welcome in a new country and new culture.

They reminded me of my own family back in London, UK – ready to invite travelling kith and kin to share at our table. Welcoming and inclusive.

Years later, I would get married and raise my own family in the USA. We embraced the tradition of Thanksgiving. Now that I live in Canada, I get to celebrate it … twice! Canadian Thanksgiving follows the European tradition of the Harvest Festivals – giving thanks for a bountiful harvest in the company of friends. Our feast in early October is usually an extended family event with the table groaning under the weight of dishes representing the various cultures that have touched our lives and those of our ancestors.

Our little family still makes a point of celebrating American Thanksgiving. As we don’t get a day off, we have developed our own tradition. We serve salmon. There is a reason for that. It started with celebrating Thanksgiving in Phuket a mere month before the 2004 Tsunami. I wrote about it in Our tradition is in the thanks, not the turkey and in my book “Contours of Courageous Parenting – Tilting Towards Better Decisions.”

Today I pause to celebrate and remember all of this. I was really sorry to hear that Mrs. Keisman passed away this past September (2021). In the many years since she showed kindness to a stranger, I have honoured her by paying that generosity forward. We open our home on holidays particularly to fellow students who cannot join their own families on these special occasions.

I regret that I haven’t figured out how to make her vermouth turkey. Maybe I will give it a try this year as a tribute to a wonderfully warm and funny lady who opened her heart and home to me so many years ago.

2021 has been the second challenging year in a row for many. We have experienced much loss. We have to deal with death and illness from miles away due to the challenges of Covid. But it has also reminded us of the invaluable gift of friendship, community and outreach. A simple hello and welcome can change attitudes.

To each of my readers: I honour your place in my life this Thanksgiving. Whether you are in Australia chomping on a turkey sandwich or celebrating with a vermouth turkey in Manhattan, I thank you for the unique gift you have been in my world. I pray that you will enjoy the abundance of relationships and opportunities around you.

#MakeTakeTalk

Make: A space at the table for those who cannot travel to their own families.

Take: time to remember Mrs. Keisman and her family, and all those who have an unfilled seat at their tables in these times.

Talk: Keeping alive Mrs. Keisman’s generosity by sharing this story. I am inspired to share my culture and learn of others.