26 May On Children – a poem by Kahlil Gibran
A new mother held her baby, swaddled in a white blanket.
The evening sun was shining through the windows, casting long shadows across the floor.
One by one, the friends and family gathered around to bless the baby, each offering words to set him on his way.
One by one, the friends and family gathered around to bless the baby, each offering words to set him on his way.
Then I heard the words that would cause me to tilt my head in wonder and forever interrupt the way I would approach parenting.
“Your children are not your children”
My head whipped to attention.
OK. Excuse me? Did they not know this is supposed to be a blessing? For a new parent and a new baby?
“They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.”
I leaned in, listening as the poem deepened…
“You are the bows from which your children like living arrows are sent forth”
As we returned home, I started wrapping my head around what I had just heard.
Once again in my parenting journey, my relationship with time had suddenly tilted.
How should I add another layer to the way I would parent my own children? To my parenting portfolio:
- Parent as protector
- Parent as nurturer
- Parent as care-giver
- Parent as teacher
- Parent as rule-maker
I now added
- Parent as guide
Beyond caring for them in their today, I would now add setting them up for their tomorrow.
To offer them the life skills and decision frameworks that would serve them well into their adult life – knowing that the only certain thing about the Future is that it is unpredictable and uncertain.
To be a source of stability in that uncertainty, allowing them solid ground from which to go out and explore their own place in Life’s future.
We are but the bow.
We notch the arrow and set aim. Take a deep breathe and hold steady.
Then we let go. We release them into the world to make their own choices and make their own mark.
And then we watch that beautiful arrow take flight.
For that wonderful little baby
Today we celebrate the graduation of that beautiful little baby – my nephew.
Held steady by his parents he is dreaming his own dreams.
Now we watch him take flight into his own tomorrow’s, delivering on all that Life continues to plan for him.
Do you want to join the discussion? When have your parenting journeys taken a twist? What advice would you offer a new parent?
Other posts in this series of parenting tips for classof2030:
- On Children – Kahlil Gibran
- Move out of their way – Julie Lythcott-Haims
- Teen brain is a brain under construction – Dr Jean Clinton
- Love you forever – Robert Munsch
- The Wonder of Boys – Michael Gurian
CREDIT & THANKS; DEFINITIONS & RESOURCES:
- Inspiration: My nephew – his birth and his graduation; and a conversation with parents at a K-8 school searching for advice
- TILT the Future – my new podcast that discusses how little ideas, small shifts and minute moments can result in monumental changes in our lives https://karenadesouza.com/blog/
- GenZ, Gen Z, Generation Z – if you were born in 1995 or after. You are usually a digital native, having no memory of a world without the internet!
- Ti17-15, Video and writing challenges
- Find a version of this thought for today article on LinkedIn and Instagram
- Photo, audio & video credit: Karena de Souza via Headliner.app
- Photo sources – Wikipedia, Unsplash
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